Right about now, I’m getting a little stir crazy for a run–crazy enough that I can convince myself I’d almost be happy on a treadmill. Or in a parking garage. Whatever it takes…but I’m not ready yet.
So to help keep my yearning in check, I made a list of places or events I’d rather just skip. Some are just out of this chicken’s comfort zone. Others involve copious amounts of food shoveled in short stints of time. Some just aren’t a good fit. Even though I’m usually a never say never kind of person, I think my list below is pretty much a sure bet:
- Running in shorts and without a shirt in Finland in the middle of winter. Mr. Zippy’s company is based in Finland, and he first learned of this hearty group of runners several years back. A Finnish running friend confirmed the rumor for me–these guys go through the entire stretch of Arctic winter running outdoors in little more than shorts. Makes you kind of feel wimpy for choosing the treadmill on cold days, no?
- The hot dog or doughnut or beer downing run–there are several of these out there and I just have to say, they hold no appeal for me. I like to run on an empty stomach for the most part, so the thought of running x number of miles, shoving hot dogs down my throat and then trying to run some more just does nothing for me. Nor does puking, which is what would surely happen to me if I tried!
- That whole running with donkeys, or is it burros (what’s the difference?) race. I’m sure that in my case, it would somehow lead to an injury.
- Running a Disney race–I know, I know. Legions of you love these races and more power to you. Wearing tutus and tiaras, or costumes, and hugging characters along the way will just never be my thing.
- Pamplona’s Running of the Bulls–Perhaps not in the classification of a real run, but…Hemmingway made it sound romantic. These legs, heavily laden with slow twitch muscles, would have no business trying to sprint from angry bulls.
Other than that, I’m pretty open to a wide variety of running experiences. I wouldn’t even cross running in Antarctica or Badwater off for certain, although I despise extreme cold and extreme heat. The beauty of it is, running can take us anywhere.
What runs are you certain you’ll never do?