How sad is this?

Have you ever wanted to see someone strip their soul bare? Well, here you go. MissZ at her ugliest:

  • We’ve been spending a few days in Florida, two of them walking around the theme parks. This was a nightmare for my ITB. It was giving out over and over by the end of each day. If I’m that bad just from walking, how far off is running?
  • I hate cold weather and live for warm weather. I’m having a hard time enjoying it without being able to run in it. Pathetic.
  • I really don’t want to go under the knife for this, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s not where I’m headed.
  • I now can’t bike, or lift with my legs. Muscle tone is going out the window. Can’t even go walk on the beach,  because that irritates the stupid leg. I’ve never been so incapacitated. I can’t handle it.
  • I don’t even give a damn that I’m not going to Boston because of this. But my son has a 5k April 3 that I really, really want to run with him. Probably not happening and that pisses me off.
  • And worst of all–I have a friend who just tore her ACL. Surgery is of course in order for her. And here you have it, my new low. I’m jealous–she’ll get the surgery and be able to move forward. I have an injury that seems to have no end/no solution in sight. I know, I’m pathetic.

Yep, I’m in major whining and wallowing mode right now. I warned you.

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Comments

  1. Evolving Through Running says

    Oh man. I'm REALLY sorry that this doesn't seem to want to resolve itself. I'll never wish surgery on anyone, having gone through a shoulder reconstruction, but I will wish for progress and some sort of resolution for you. You've been patient enough … your body owes it to you. Sending healing vibes, as always.

  2. Caratunk Girl says

    Oh man Amanda, I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I am sure it is beyond frustrating. I just hope that one way or another, this gets resolved for you so you can move forward. I hope it doesn't involve surgery, but I just want to see you better! Thinking of you. Too bad you couldn't get a PET scan taht shows all the muscles in color infrared (is that the right one?) and Drs could really see what was going on and fix it.

  3. *~* *~* Tracy says

    It's not pathetic at all. I think your last point is the real issue…there are no mile markers for this injury, no precalculated recovery formulas.

    It's all UNKNOWN and that's the hard and scary part.

    When you get back, I hope your dr can recommend more tests or something to give you a clearer idea of what's in store. And I really hope you can run with your son – at least part of the race – on April 3rd. Praying for you.

  4. amy says

    I agree with Tracy. And, I get the jealously, even with my closest friends and teammates. You should talk to Katie as she's now had ITB surgery twice and is doing great after a quick and methodical recovery. Know that you're doing all of the right things and don't beat yourself up for getting frustrated!

  5. Leah @ Chasing Atalanta says

    I am so sorry you're still struggling with this. I've never heard of ITBS being so severe before. Obviously you'll know if it's the right thing to do for you, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed you won't need surgery, because it could open up a whole new can of worms in the form of scar tissue.

  6. Amanda - RunToTheFinish says

    living in FL and being injured at any point is horrible to my midwest sensibility. I am told to enjoy any day that is nice outside, so if I can't I am very confused.

    you sound much like me with my ITB…way too determined to just keep going :) i'm sure once you can mentally give your leg a break it will start to resolve. I also thought accunpuncture in combo with PT sped up the healing

  7. Amanda@runninghood says

    Gosh Amanda, I don't know what to say without saying the stuff you're probably sick of hearing. The "I'm sorries" and "Thinking of yous" and "Good luck with thats"…these things might just want to make you want to eat our face off at this point and tell us to go shove it! At least that is where I might be if I were in your shoes. I'm thinking I'll just say that you have a right to be pissed, angry, and just really feel angry and hurt…almost a grieving in a way…this is HUGE to you…one of the biggest and most important parts of your life! I know and you know that you won't be angry and pissed forever but you have to allow yourself these types of vents and posts because it is part of healing…I think. We're listening. It sucks! So now, I'm sorry, and Truly thinking of you even though I don't know you (when I start getting scared or worried about my hamstring, I often think of how you must be feeling with your situation).

  8. Jason says

    It's not sad MissZ…..it's you. It is what makes you and your site a wonderful place to visit and chat.

    I am very sorry to hear that this issue is not clearing up. There are no words to help you with this but all I can say is that there must be a reason this is happening. Maybe you will find another passion to add to your running so when you are running (and that will happen) you will have more to fill your life and time.

    Be good and try to smile through the pain.

  9. Terri says

    You know, I'll just shut up if you want me to (and it won't hurt my feelings, either!) but the loss of leg strength seems extreme for ITBS. Not that it isn't possible, but I think you might want to see someone about it again – maybe a second opinion? Anyway, good luck, whatever you decide and I'm sending healing thoughts your way!

  10. Meg says

    You will recover, you have that strength and desire inside of you. Somethings just take longer to tackle and often, even longer to discover.
    You've been there for so many of us during our low times and we're here for you…don't lose heart. In the big spectrum, this is really such a short time to be down. You will rise again, girl, and be stronger than ever. BIG hugs and much gratitude for all that you do for your family and others, you are so appreciated and so respected. Thanks for your honesty and your raw feelings, now stay strong and confident!!

  11. Richelle says

    I'm so sorry that the ITBS has still not cleared up yet. I second Terri's suggestion: a second opinion sounds like a good idea. I hope you don't need surgery! I will be praying for you.

  12. Denise says

    oh my gosh. i'm so sorry. this sounds just horrible. i hope you can find some way to feel better soon. hang in there.

  13. Pat says

    I'm so very sorry you are still struggling with this! Your running buddies miss your company very much! I hope you don't need surgery, but if you exhaust all other options and end up going that route, Steve had his done by Les Matthews at Union Memorial and had a great result. It did take him about a year to get back to running longer miles, but he was unable to run at all for quite awhile prior to surgery and he has some structural issues that you aren't dealing with.

  14. Runners Fuel says

    I am so srry. Everything will get ebtter, in time. When I was injuged, I thought I would never be able to run. REading everyone's blog about how far/fast they're running was torture. I will heal, it just needs time.

  15. Molly says

    yikes. I was hoping it was getting better for you, not worse!!! You deserve all the venting/whining you want. At some point something will give, and you will heal. Hope it's sooner rather than later!

  16. Teamarcia says

    Wow. I know ITB can be chronic but I've never heard of it being so extreme and debilitating. I am beyond sorry for you girl. I hope this is your low and things quickly, miraculously turn around for you. I'm glad you vented the negative stuff–it's good to get that out. Big hugs.

  17. P says

    I so totally get this! I went for a tiny little one mile jog with my son this morning and came home in tears. I find myself jealous of all sorts of injuries that have an end in sight. This chronic crap is the pits.
    Don't ever worry about the whining and wallowing, everyone feels that way dealing with injuries and we are here for you!

  18. Matty O says

    have you been popping IB Profins? I started taking them in the morning and evening, I take 4 at a time (it's a lot but my trainer in college said I have the body mass to handle it). This made a HUGE difference for me. I have also iced the IT Bands every evening. Just a few minutes at a time and I move the ice pack from my hip to my knee and I do it again. I keep stretching about 30 minutes in the morning and evening and all workouts are low intensity.

    I started going to a massage therapist and she has been rubbing it out to loosen it up.

    hang in there. BELIEVE me, I understand it. The emotions, feelings, sensations, pains. I don't get it, but this things is a devil… and a painful one at that!

  19. Jess @ Blonde Ponytail says

    You warned and have every right to share your thoughts. I wasn't able to view this post earlier, so that's why my comment is so late!

    If anything this exerience will make you an even better coach. I also posted your sticker on my blog today via my running journal!

  20. e410 says

    I am so so so sorry to hear this. UGHHH ITBs are so frustrating. This is the worst I've ever heard of it… whine away, we're hear to listen and this is your blog. I'm so sorry!